Why Your Brand Voice Shouldn’t Sound Like a Lawnmower Manual

Boring. Boring. Boring.

Picture this everyday scene.

You land on a website for a small artisan business in Cornwall. Let’s say they sell hand-thrown pottery or botanically-dyed ribbons. You're expecting cosy, earthy vibes. What greets you instead is:

“Welcome to our customer-centric solution hub. We deliver innovative, scalable products to maximise end-user satisfaction.”

Sorry, what?

Is this a boutique craft studio… or an instruction leaflet for assembling an Ikea wardrobe?

This, is what we call a brand voice crisis. And if your business sounds like this, don’t panic. We’re going to fix it. Right here. Right now. With a gentle, witty nudge (and possibly a metaphor involving a cheese and pickle sandwich).

So… what exactly is a brand voice?

Establish your brand voice.

Your brand voice is the tone, language and personality your business uses to speak — online, in print, in bios, blogs, packaging, Instagram captions, and even that boring small print that nobody reads.

It’s how your business would talk if it walked into a pub and ordered a pint.

Some brands are smooth and stylish (like they drink espresso and know what a zine is). Others are quirky, warm, blunt, posh, sweary, gentle, nerdy, or nostalgic.

The only rule is this:

👉 It should sound like you.

But why does it matter?

It matters big time. People don’t buy things from brands they don’t understand. Or worse — from brands that make them feel like they need a business degree just to decode a sentence.

Your voice tells people who you are. Whether you’re the kind of person who puts oat milk in your tea (you absolute chaos merchant), or someone who calls everyone “my love” within 5 seconds of meeting them.

When your voice is honest and human, people trust you. When it sounds like the legal disclaimers at the end of a radio advert — they don’t. It’s that simple.

Where it all goes wrong

Be human. Don’t sound like a corporate robot.

Let’s play a little game. Spot the human:

Option A:

“I’m Lucy. I make hand-painted signs in my shed while eating Rich Tea biscuits. Each piece is inspired by Cornwall, misheard song lyrics, and my nan’s old cookbooks.”

Option B:

“We are a signage solutions provider leveraging creativity to deliver unique visual experiences for domestic and commercial clientele.”

If you picked B, I have questions. Mostly about whether you’ve been kidnapped by LinkedIn.

Common Brand Voice Crimes

Let’s get specific. Here are a few repeat offenders I see when helping clients with copy:

1. The 'Trying to Sound Bigger Than You Are' Voice

Be proud to be small. Be you.

You’re a one-person candle-making business in Penzance, but you’re saying “we” like you're L’Oréal. It’s fine to be small. In fact, it’s brilliant to be small. Own it. People love buying from real people, not faceless ‘teams’.

2. The ‘Insert Industry Jargon Here’ Voice

Corporate jargon is as about as fun as trip to the dentist.

Synergy. Scalability. Stakeholder engagement. Please. Stop. You’re not filling out a grant application. Use the words your actual customers use.

3. The Cold, Corporate, No Personality Voice

Drop the formalities.

Usually found in the wild on websites that start with “Welcome to our homepage”. It’s 2025. No one has ever needed that sentence.

So how do I find my brand voice?

Start here:

✅ Talk like a human

If you wouldn’t say it to a mate over a pint or cuppa, don’t put it on your website. “We deliver bespoke end-to-end solutions” becomes “We help you sort your website out, properly.”

✅ Show your quirks

Do you always wear odd socks? Run your business while homeschooling three wild children and a Labrador? Love 80s music or Cornish folklore? These little bits of you are what make people go, “Ooh, I like them.”

✅ Imagine your ideal customer

Who are they? What do they read? How do they talk? Now write for them. If your audience are creative, warm-hearted small biz owners in Cornwall, write like a friendly expert with a strong pasty game — not like a corporate robot.

✅ Use your actual words

Not the posh, buttoned-up, ‘writing an email to the bank’ version of your words. The actual ones. If you call things “dodgy”, “lush”, “blooming marvellous” “fab” or “a bit pants” — lean in and own it.

Use the language you would use speaking to your pards.

A few voicey bits you can tweak this week

Don’t worry — I’m not suggesting a full brand rewrite before tea. Just pick a couple of spots and give them a refresh:

• Your Instagram bio — Does it tell people clearly what you do, in your voice?

• Your About page — Could it be more like a fireside chat, less like a CV?

• A recent caption or blog post — Can you add more you-ness? A metaphor? A daft side-note? A swear word? (Just one. Let’s not go full Gordon Ramsay.)

• Your 404 error page — This is PRIME real estate for a cheeky bit of personality. ("Lost? It's alright, we’ve all ended up down a weird lane in Cornwall.")

My final thoughts

Humans rock. Be a human. Use YOUR voice.

You are not a corporate giant. You are not a robot. You are a real, brilliant human doing a real, brilliant thing — and your voice should reflect that.

Because nobody ever said:
“Wow, I just had to buy from them — their tone of voice was so delightfully sterile and confusing.”

So stop sounding like a lawnmower manual.

Start sounding like you.

And if you need a hand getting there — I know someone who’s pretty decent with words (and biscuits). Just shout.